Civil War, or, Helvetica Syndrome (2016) -- 7

The first thing you notice how this is an amazingly Bond-esque political/physical fight scene. The second is the amazing use of place labels. Whenever one of those arty, full-screen, Wes-Anderson, giant letter place tellers…I giggled a little.

Not a problem. It is both super cool/intimidating and genuinely funny. The shot of Bucky chasing down a car on a dirt road at night already looks made to lick David Lynch's balls, but with a giant Helvetica "1991" super imposed, it's downright laughable. The boys on Reddit consider it to be either Futura or Twentieth Century, but it doesn't really matter what it is when it's got all that artsy-overlord pomp of Helvetica. Every time a new place name popped up, I crack up and then tilt my head in admiration at the lighting and cinematography.

This is a theme that remains throughout Civil War. As perfect as this movie is (All Hail Disney!) there is a weird fault here.

Excellent fight scenes. The opening scene is unabashedly Bond-esque. Camera following close up action for train of thought continuity. Use of all objects in a room (cement bricks, used bazooka shells), serious realism when Bucky hurts himself stopping his own all – I actually physically ducked when Cap ducks under the tail of a helicopter!

Almost Excellent Pacing. At the 1 hr 28 mins 25 secs point, we enter act 2.7. It's slick like the most beautiful anesthesia. It's the big title-line fight sequence: right on schedule, and my heart starts thumping. Unfortunately there's, like, 40 minutes left to this saga… of just Ironman and Cap duking it out. It's necessary for the larger universe, but slllooooowwww….even on the scale X-Men Apocalypse.

Excellent character incorporation. We got easily the best Spiderman (eat your heart out Toby Maguire & that other kid). There's an incredible Great Black Panther intro which super-well sets up the release of his solo comic series in September. Even Antman gets involved. They each have good lines and good back stories woven into a perfectly natural narrative. And last but not least, Stan Lee's cameo in pimp-ass sunglasses is gorgeous. God bless Stan Lee.

But…..Why does everything have to be a fight about isolationism? The only way to have more legal rigor & flexibility requires a lot more privacy invasion. The only way to stop ppl from stepping on your property is by having more government to enforce it. There is always a stalemate at the end of this particular soap opera – Man of Principle vs. Man of Principle.

The thing that makes wars is not bad people, but good people who can't understand each other to come up with some sort of compromise. I can't support either Ironman or Captain America. A major difference between a vigilante and a deputy is making sure the ppl you arrest don't get let out of prison based on their 5th Amendment rights. Do you really want to win the battle but lose the war? Captain America is short sighted in his own principles.

So, really, we have a an almost flawless movie, under-ridden by a strange isolationist sentiment which makes the whole set of characters look like whiny children in a rich kid clique who won't share their ball (except Black Panther, who has real problems).

Then, here are some lists. Ppl like lists.

List of 10 Bonus Points: 

1. The Vision using paprika and playing jazz (can't wait for his solo run comic!) 
2. All Marvel movies and shows (minus Fan-Four-Stick) consistently uses "Sokovia" as the vaguely Eastern-European country, and "Wakanda" for vaguely African countries. 
3. Great throwaway lines add universe depth -- "We were supposed to go water skiing!"
4. Light on Don Cheadle's face when War Machine spins out of control. Angular momentum and cinematic vision blend perfectly! 
5. The new Jarvis is an Irish lady! Stark, apparently, is a Brito- phile, huh. 
6. The baseball cap is the new hoodie??? 
7. The dialogue is the snappy best! There is just no replacing sentences back-n-forth that make sense. 
8. It is all very political, both for inter-personal, and for actually very real, larger world political quandaries. The role of the UN! The idea of jurisdiction! Nothing' but Watchmen comes this close. 
9. At the end of the day, I just love Vision more than anyone. He's basically Dr. Manhattan, or Data. As a tactician or strategist, Cap can only skillfully punch stuff. So sad that non-kinetic is non- cinematic. 
10. The way Tony and Cap fight is exactly the way my husband and I fight when we're drunk. That is, dramatic for no good reason; with a lot of saying "I'm done!"

List of 4 Philosophical Quotes that Raise the Bar: 

1.  "Which Bucky am I talking to?" Steve Rogers doesn't understand schizophrenia, but that's OK cus he's from the '40s. 
2. "You have the right to remain silent!" Spidey pulls out Miranda on Bucky. 
3. "An empire killed by its enemies can rise again, but one that crumbles from within – that's dead forever." That amazing quote comes from a true villain of light and dark motivations which are almost inscrutable if you really follow them. 
4. "I can't control their fear, only my own." Personal growth for Wanda, and something very deep and classic for the whole film.

List of 1 terrible thing to not be repeated: 

1. It's all in the family: WTF, Cap. Do not make out with your ex-girlfriend's niece. Many levels of Eew.  

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